How To Fix…Spider-Man 3

Spider-Man

I was watching Spider-Man 3 movie today. And although the movie has Spider-Man in it…its not a very good film. Rumours are that Sam Raimi and Sony pictures had some issues over the making of the film and Venom was kind of forced into the picture. Kind of feels that way. Personally though, I would’ve enjoyed the movie if it had been done a little differently.

So feel free to read my detailed outline of what the Spider-Man 3 movie would’ve been like if I was in charge. Pease forgive the any grammar or spelling errors, wrote this in only 2 hours. Not much time for editing.

How To Fix…Spider-Man 3 Outline

It begins like we know. Spider-Man has a greater public identity, still secret, just more liked. Oh and it’s been a year since the events of Spider-Man 2. John Jameson, former lover of Mary Jane, has just completed his mission on the Moon. YES, the guy is an Astronaut. Anyway, the movie begins with Spider-Man stopping crime through the city as John Jameson’s shuttle enters the atmosphere. However communication is lost, the shit hits the fan and for some reason its headed for New York City…yeah well, call it faith.

So its 10 minutes into the film and Spider-Man is trying his best to get to the crash site, all the while stopping petty crimes. Just for the people at home to see this guy can handle pretty much anything easily.

The shuttle crashes down on the river, Spider-Man swing in just in time to get the Astronauts out, and when he goes back for John Jameson, an explosion rips open the side of the shuttle and water rushes in. We the audience think all is lost, but then we see Spider-Man comes to the surface with John Jameson in hand. Instead of sticking around though, Spider-Man takes off because, through voice over, Peter keeps telling us that he has a dinner date tonight.

As Spider-Man swings off, we see a black goo on the back of his suit. YAY, its the symbiote suit/alien. Its attached itself to Spider-Man. So the next thing we see is Peter running from his apartment, across the building roof tops while talking on the phone to Mary Jane (dating). As he is doing this, Peter is changing into some clean clothes that he just picked up. Minutes later, he “swings” down and picks up MJ, see what I did there.

Meanwhile, Harry Osborn is sitting in his father’s office. His father is taunting him to continue with his “duty” of getting revenge on Peter, at which point, Harry stands into full view and we see he is dressed in a green and purple business suit, muted colours of course. His father’s Goblin mask lays on the desk.

Anyway, the dinner is to congratulate MJ who has been performing in a new musical for a few months. The conversation eventually leads to Harry Osborn, as MJ doesn’t know Harry knows Spider-Man’s secret identity. You see, the secret keeping begins here. So Peter lies and says that he hasn’t spoken with Harry in almost a year, MJ nags Peter about it. He doesn’t want to talk about it and eventually overhears people talking about a fire uptown. Peter goes off as Spider-Man and MJ is left to walk home on her own.

The next morning, Peter is in Dr. Conners’ class. While Dr. Conners praises his improved grades, he still isn’t sure if Peter is ready for the chance to work along side him, because of his constant disappearances and how he sometimes seems distracted. As this is said, Peter is distracted by the issue of the Daily Bugle open on Dr. Conners desk. Dr. Conners gives him the paper saying its these distractions he’s talking about. Haha yes, humour can be had at Peter’s expense.

So Anyway, Peter sees the article on the front page has turned the shuttle and fire rescue into a Spider-Man bashing event and he decides to pay J. Jonah Jameson a visit. On his way there, he thinks he sees Harry Osborn on campus, but loses him in a crowd of people.

Across town, MJ is waiting for the director of her musical who has arranged a meeting with her. A private meeting. MJ is there, and the director shows up and turns the sleaze factor up to 11. But what’s that, Harry shows up and protects MJ. The director threatens to put the word out that MJ is not to be hired by anyone, but Harry says that he just personally purchased the theatre, or some crap like that, and MJ’s job is safe, and the director will be out on his arse.

MJ thanks Harry. Asks why she hasn’t seen him around in the last year. He convincingly lies he’s been in Europe, but is back in town for good now and would love to meet up with Peter and her some time.

To lighten things up a little, Spider-Man arrives at the Daily Bugle and into the office of J. Jonah Jameson. Just as he is about to talk, Spider-Man shoots a web at his mouth. As he swings away, he shouts at Jameson not to remove the web for at least another hour until it dissolves a bit. Yet all we hear is the sound of a rip and then ARGHHHHHH. Yup, Jameson just ripped off the webbing and his moustache. HAHA on yeah and that’ll be a running gag.

In hospital we find another Jameson, thats John Jameson, who has recovered enough to talk. He keeps mumbling about a black slime that destroyed the navigational controls. The person he is talking to is news reporter Eddie Brock. He snuck into the room dressed as a male nurse, and as he presses for more, guards drag him away. Yes sir, that’s reporter Eddie Brock, not photographer.

So where we at, oh yeah, the symbiote suit. Peter is in his apartment talking to MJ about her day and how she was attacked by the director. Peter is getting angry, and then when MJ says Harry saved her, he crushes the phone in his hand. The symbiote throughout this scene continues to move closer and closer to Peter until eventually it attaches itself to his leg and he passes out, from shock or maybe its just something the symbiote does.

Black_Suit_SpiderMan_by_TheRealPeterParker

When he wakes up, Spider-Man is hanging upside down from a building. He doesn’t know how he got there, and then realises he’s wearing a black suit. Not just a black version of his Spider-Man suit, but completely black with a large white Spider symbol on his chest and back. Peter swings by MJ’s apartment to continue the conversation, but she isn’t there. He then sees a photo of MJ and Harry on her nightstand and thinks the worse. Crushing the picture frame in his hand, Spider-Man swings off.

Oh and don’t worry about Spider-Man not worrying about the new black suit, that’ll come into play a little later on. Something to keep the viewers wondering.

Back at Harry’s place, MJ is there with him. She comments that she hasn’t spoken to Peter for over a week now. Yup, it turns out that Peter was hanging from that building in a trance like state for 7 whole days. The symbiote must’ve been doing some serious bonding. So naturally in those 7 days, MJ has thought the worst and turned to her only other friend, Harry. He says that when Peter does show up, he’ll have a word with him.

While saying this, Spider-Man watches from outside the window, and then sees MJ leave. He smashes into the room, attacks Harry, who just continues laughing at Spider-Man. Then at the final moment, security enter and open fire on Spider-Man. Harry laughs and points to the security cameras.

Although not planned, Spider-Man played right into Harry’s major plan. Harry releases the footage to news media and the internet lights up. Harry shows up on morning talk shows to explain how his father was the Green Goblin, and when he found out that Spider-Man killed him, the wall crawler threatened to kill him like he did his father years before. Harry says he’s been making amends for his father’s crimes and will continue to do so, but Spider-Man needs to be stopped. With this, Harry goes on to talk about all the charities and money he’s been giving away.

Eddie Brock is talking with J. Jonah at the Daily Bugle about the black goo, but J. Jonah wants him to concentrate on bringing down Spider-Man, and revealing everything about him. Brock wants to follow the black goo story, yet Jonah yells at him and says to follow the Spider-Man menace story. Brock is kicked out of the office, while Jonah Jameson fixes his obviously fake moustache, which everyone can’t help but notice. See a sight gag, to break the seriousness. Can be played up all the time, or made subtle.

Peter shows up at MJ’s apartment. He tries to explain his action against Harry, yet MJ doesn’t buy it. Not only is she pissed off about that, but also that he’s been gone for 7 whole days as Peter, but happy to go around and fight crime as Spider-Man. OH YES PEOPLE. The symbiote was active in those 7 days. She says Harry has been there for her when Peter vanished for days and asks what he was up to, but he can’t answer it. When he warns her about Harry, she demands he leave and not return.

Its a few days later, and MJ is performing on stage. He finishes and Harry is back stage with her. She talks with him about his father, and Harry apologises for everything he did to her. And kisses her. She doesn’t fight it, and then Peter walks in. MJ is shocked, and so is Peter, yet Harry set it all up. He smiles behind MJ’s back. MANIPULATOR!!!!! Peter grabs Harry by the throat, and MJ yells for help, and Harry whispers to Peter than she tastes so nice. He smiles. Guards enter, and Peter leaves. Everyone goes to the aid of Harry who is playing up the drama of it all.

While fighting crime, Spider-Man has been more and more violent with the people he stops. During one of the scenes, Eddie Brock manages to approach Spider-Man and questions him about the black goo and his recent behaviour, and Spider-Man incorrectly blames Brock for the recent bad press. Brock is thrown against a police car, and Spider-Man breaks his arm. As people watch, Spider-Man can’t believe his actions and swings away.

MJ sees all this on TV and just can’t believe that Peter has gone this crazy. Harry tells her that Spider-Man is crazy, and begins to “sly” his way around her. See, MJ still doesn’t know that Harry is aware of Peter’s powers, so when he claims that maybe Spider-Man’s attitude is rubbing off on Peter, MJ thinks that maybe he’s right.

Peter takes no crap from J. Jonah, and even yells at Robbie and Betty for enabling the foul attitude of their editor. Before quitting on the spot to sell his newest Spider-Man pictures to their rival paper, Peter rips off Jonah’s fake moustache and laughs all the way into the elevator. Although stopping more crimes than ever as Spider-Man, Peter has been feeling a little drained of emotion and energy in his personal life. MJ isn’t returning his calls and has actually broken up with him. And to top it all off, while saving a few people from a truck explosion, the black suit reacts causing Peter to question it all.

With this knowledge he goes to see Dr. Conners who helps him run a few tests. The doctor figures out the symbiote is not of this earth, and also living. Further studies show it to actually feed on the “host” which is why he’s been drained most times. OKAY, so I’ve changed it slightly from the comics, but its a different universe, so deal with it.

All throughout the film, MJ has been struggling with her feelings for Peter and Harry. Harry has been manipulating her all just playing against Peter. Never once has he put on a costume, just a purple and green business suit. And at every opportunity he gets, Harry has bashed Spider-Man in public, until the point where Harry offers a $1 million bounty on his head.

The internet and news goes crazy over this. Peter watches at Aunt May’s house where he almost break a door frame with his bare hands. Aunt May agrees that Spider-Man is a menace, but only lately. She says that Uncle Ben always spoke of power and responsibility, and maybe if Spider-Man had someone like Uncle Ben, he would’ve turned out differently. She turns to Peter and begs him not to take pictures of the black suited Spider-Man anymore, and Peter agrees with her. He says no more black suited Spider-Man (pictures).

And thats the moment in the movie where Peter realises what has been causing the problems. Not only has Harry Osborn been manipulating MJ and the media, but the black suit has been causing him personal issues.

While swinging around the city, Peter begins thinking of his Uncle Ben. “With great power comes great responsibility” and decides to pay his respects to his uncle. This thought comes to him while hanging on the side of a building, which just so happens to be a church. While sitting on the side of the building, a few people below begin tossing rubbish at him calling him a menace. Peter tries to defend himself, and the symbiote reacts by ripping pieces of the brick wall off and tossing them at the people.

Spider-Man quickly apologises and then pulls himself onto the roof trying to remove the suit. Eddie Brock is in the church. He is begging for a way to redeem his career as a reporter. He pleads for the lord to help him. To give him a sign of some kind, and then when he looks up, he notices a large shadow moving across the window.

Spider-Man continues to battle the suit itself. He rolls around the roof of the church punching himself, Evil Dead style. He then stumbles backward and falls into the church tower where he hits the bell. It rings deafeningly loud to the point where the symbiote reacts. Spider-Man falls to the ground beside the bell as the symbiote retracts from Peter’s body. Each bell toll weakening it.

Eddie blocks his ears down below, but sees Spider-Man struggling above, as the symbiote falls off the hero, Eddie is right below. The black goo envelops his body and the screen guys black. Peter without a costume, quickly webs himself a few covers and swings toward his apartment.

Once he sneaks in and changes clothes, Peter decides that its time he goes to see MJ. While finishing her preforming on stage that night, with Harry in the audience, the curtain drops and Spider-Man quickly swings down and grabs her up. No one notices her gone. When Harry goes to check back stage, he sees a window in the rafters open. He smiles knowing Peter took her.

MJ is scared, just furious that Peter kidnapped her. He tries to justify it, but can’t. He apologises to her, and explains all about the suit and how Harry has been manipulating everyone. She asks about Norman and Peter says he died from his own blade and that Peter would never take a life. Not even the guy who killed Uncle Ben. She realises how wrong she’s been and then tosses a bracelet that Harry gave her off the building.

Harry sits at his desk and notices the bracelet, which WAS A FUCKING TRACKING DEVICE, suddenly lose signal and shuts his laptop. He then turns his chair, opens the mirror behind and steps into a greenish light. ITS GREEN GOBLIN TIME.

Peter swings down at MJ’s apartment window. He doesn’t expect to win her back right away, but promises to right his wrongs. MJ steps into his apartment and notices she’s still wearing his performance dress. She turns to stop Peter from swinging away, and just as she does so, a cackling laughter is heard behind. She screams and Spider-Man swings back to see the NEW BADASS GREEN FUCKING GOBLIN flying out the apartment window on his glider with MJ in hand.

green-goblin-1

At the Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson is in his office with Robbie and Betty watching the live news feed of Spider-Man in red and blue suit, fighting the Green Goblin. I’m talking entire green body armour. And a purple vest bullet proof type jacket. And a green goblin type of face mask with moveable mouth and eyes. Jonah tells Robbie to email Peter and pay him whatever he wants so long as he brings pictures of this fight.

Cut back to the fight on the George Washington Bridge. Mary Jane keeps getting throw around by the battle. Spider-Man continues to save her, but is always kicked, punched or knocked around by the Green Goblin. Harry reveals himself to MJ as he figured Peter already knew. Peter begs for him not to hurt MJ and even explains how Norman really died.

Harry doesn’t want to hear that and tosses a pumpkin bomb at Spider-Man and MJ. The blast throws back both and MJ falls over the edge, and mirroring Amazing Spider-Man #121, Spider-Man fires off a web to save her. This time, the stop doesn’t snap her neck, but bungee cord style slows her enough. MJ saved, Peter however is stabbed in the arm by Harry.

After escaping the Goblin long enough, Peter webs up his arm, and goes right back after Harry. He showers him with punches and doesn’t hold up until Harry begs him to stop. Peter does so for a moment. He says that his father has been behind it all for so long and Harry just wanted to make him proud. A lie. As a final effort, Harry presses a button on his wrist which causing the glider to beep. A bomb. Spider-Sense tingling, DANGER. Spider-Man grabs Harry and jumps away, but the bomb blows up knocking the entire building down on top of them.

The news reports show the destruction caused. Saying no one could’ve survived. MJ jumps out of a police car, and watches. Crying. Jonah, Robbie and Betty watch from the Daily Bugle.

The rubble begins to move. The crowd of people watch on, MJ is hopeful. Then a torn up red and blue gloves appears. MJ smiles. More rubble moves and Spider-Man walks out dragging the Green Goblin behind him. Both men survived the building collapse thanks to Spider-Man webbing the FUCK out of the area around them.

Back at the Daily Bugle, Betty and Robbie hug while J. Jonah takes off his moustache, wipe the sweat away and goes to put it back on, but realising its ridiculous, tosses it away. AND THE JOKE HAS BEEN PAID OFF.

Police rush in with guns raised to arrest Spider-Man, but he pulls off the half ripped mask on the Green Goblin and tosses Harry in front to be arrested. The Police chief stops his men and thanks Spider-Man. Peter looks at MJ, and she slowly backs away from the crowd and down the street. Spider-Man swing over the crowd and picks up MJ before disappearing into the night.

A few days have passed, the news is filled with stories about Harry Osborn being the second Green Goblin and how he tried to defame Spider-Man through the media. He is now locked up at Ravencroft. MJ is performing another night and Peter is in the crowd watching. Then he gets a message from Jonah saying pictures are needed asap. Peter looks up MJ on stage, gives her the wed THWIP hand sign and she nods.

Peter runs out of the theatre down an alley, runs up a wall, removes his clothes changing into Spider-Man and then swinging off through the city toward the latest disturbance. AND ITS DONE. MOVIE FINISHED.

POST CREDIT SEQUENCE: From black, we hear a swinging sound. A black creature moves along the roof tops of the New York city. This time, its the symbiote. Slightly larger figure. Its arrives at its destination, apartment of Eddie Brock. The symbiote morphs its shape into clothing and Eddie Brock laugh as he crushes a picture of Spider-Man.

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